Being Me

My wife said something to me this morning that resonated with me during my meditation.  It also flowed with what I woke up thinking.  I think that during my life, for a variety of reasons, I've sometimes felt the need to fit in.  It's somewhat ironic, especially since I'm an iconoclast, and tend to be my own person.  Maybe, it's not so ironic.  There's a yin and yang to everything in life.  I spend so much time being me, maybe I'm pulled in another direction at times.

I've been struggling for some time to fit everything into my life.  I've got so many irons in the fire.  I look back on last year, being the year I focused my life on Kona, and find some peace within the year.  I had a singular focus, and I followed it.  During the first couple of months of COVID-19, I had a singular focus, and I followed it.  Of course, that was different from anything in my life, perhaps since my internship year.  Or, maybe it wasn't, it was a microcosm of many aspects of my life.  My 15 months as the CEO of Rockport, those months were pretty focused.  I certainly can get lost in my own priorities.  

I thought that I'd run again today. Yesterday was a very solid effort that left me feeling a little tired throughout the day.  I also felt like I had some allergies coming on, which is always little challenging and off-putting during the time of COVID-19.  You really don't want to feel like you've got a scratchy throat, itchy eyes or stuffy nose.  It messes too much with ones head.  On the other hand, feeling allergies coming on has always been a sign for me that I've pushed the limits of training, or that I've pushed my body a little too hard.  

I have work to do.  I definitely have too many projects going on at once.  I need to spend the day today catching up and reprioritizing.  Running will only add stress and fatigue.  I need to be sharp.  I need to be focused.  I need to be me.