Doing the Right Thing

That was the concept on my mind every time I woke up last night, which I did multiple times.  It certainly wasn't the most fitful night's sleep I've had recently, reflecting the fact that I'm still struggling find my emotional and physical comfort level.  Yesterday's run was probably a little harder than it should have been, but it was actually what I wanted to do.  I'm not sure yet how today's run will feel, or what I'll need to do.  My inclination is to go relatively hard again, not super hard, not racing hard, but to go hard enough to feel it.  I guess that's why I kept thinking about doing the right thing.  The context in my dreams were different, they were more focused on life, but running how I feel is the corollary to living how I feel.  

Everything I've been involved with over the last five months are coming together.  At the same time, I'm desperately trying to find myself again.  I was glad that they cancelled Ironman St. George, as I wasn't going to go anyway.  Not because I didn't want to, because I did, but because I knew that I shouldn't.  It wouldn't have been the right thing to do.  The best part of the news was the realization that I wanted to use the deferral option to pick another race.  The race was pretty obvious, Ironman California, on October 24 of 2021.  Hopefully I will be able to safely navigate an Ironman 15 months from now.  It's supposed to be one of the, if not the, flattest Ironman courses around, and the weather in Sacramento in October should be ideal. Of course this is an Ironman that I signed up for that we're talking about.  On the other hand, it'd an Ironman I've switched to because the one I'd signed up for was cancelled.  The last time that happened, I had less than a week to "prepare," and had my personal best in Chattanooga.  Could that be an omen?

I have fifteen months to get ready for my next Ironman.  That puts my daily 8 mile runs in perspective and sharpens my focus to improve my running.  Everything else will come in time.  In the meantime, I'll just try to get my head around doing the right thing on a daily basis.