Cynicism

Why shouldn't I be cynical?  I've been trying to have my voice heard for three months.  Am I actually being too much of a perfectionist? Or, am I correctly acknowledging the situation and reacting accordingly?  I often use war analogies, and if I look at this as a battle, we've definitely made progress and taken some ground.  The question is whether it's enough?  Furthermore, how much more of a risk do I want to take to make more progress?  Therein lies the question.

In the last few weeks, a number of things have transpired.  The state is holding weekly calls with the nursing home infection preventionists.  I wanted, and still believe that it would be more productive, to have daily calls.  I could have been pushing to do this, but have chosen not to. Rather, I've just been too busy and in many ways, too tired, to push for daily calls (I had the thought of piloting daily calls for a portion of the state, but haven't proposed it or determined a plan to make it happen).  I think it's time to see about proposing this, though I can't do it myself, and will need help to both propose and achieve it.

The state put forth a "mitigation plan" that requires nursing facilities to lay out all of their plans to combat COVID-19.  The plan literally includes all of the elements that we have been recommending this March 5.  That should be a success, but I am worried on a few fronts.  It puts the onus on the nursing homes, some of which are too small and insufficiently staffed to actually develop such a plan, much less carry it out.  Why couldn't the state have written the plan for them and told them what to do? Perhaps I'm nit picking.  The bottom line is the plan we were suggesting is the plan that the state is requiring.

The state has finally laid out an approach to testing, literally following almost all of our recommendations.  We were given the opportunity to review the plan the day before it was released, once again, we had to ask to see it.  Why?  Why do we have to push every step of the way?  Why can't we just be part of the process?  That's the frustration.  That's why I'm cynical. Nevertheless, all of these things have happened. They've happened slower than I would have liked.  Because of that, many lives have been lost.

I will never regret any of the actions that I've taken over the past three months.  That was one of the things I'd asked myself along the way.  I will not look back.  I will not wonder.  I've given this everything I've had, and then some.  Maybe it's time to let go of the cynicism and just let the efforts take root.  Maybe it's time to water them and see how they can grow.  Maybe it's time for some optimism?