A day after hitting rock bottom in my emotional struggles, I found peace. The funny thing is, I know it's because my wife gave me the answer to dealing with my issues this morning, but for the life of me, I can't remember what she said! Fortunately, whatever it was, I found my center of gravity and feel at peace once again. Go figure. One thing that I do remember is recollecting how my recent anxiety reminded me of the time that I had panic attacks while swimming in open water. I ultimately tried to bring about the same feeling in the pool, so that I could focus on staying in the moment in order to deal with it.
I also was able to relate my struggles to a similar one that a friend of mine is going through. I know that he is trying to find his purpose. I know that purpose is also important to me and that in order to embrace my purpose, I need focus on the things that matter. Of interest, my exercise has become both a way to channel my nervous energy and have a purpose. It fills multiple needs. Meditation continues to be a key way for me to also channel any unhealthy energy. I realized that when I'm really stressed, I tend to watch television. That's my "drug," my alcohol, my marijuana, or whatever else other people use to distract themselves. Overall, it's certainly not unhealthy in the way that drugs or alcohol can be, but it also is not productive in the sense of actually addressing the underlying issues. At least exercise provides a myriad number of positive effects on the mind and body. If I'm going to watch t.v., it should be for enjoyment, not for escape.
I also realize that I haven't run in 10 days, which is definitely a problem for me, and I haven't biked or swam in 4 days. Despite a lot of lifting and walking over four days of moving, my usual exercise has been lacking. That hasn't helped me, and I truly look forward to getting back to my usual routine this week. Fortunately, I'm back at being in peace.
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