Journey to Kona Day 46: Caring Too Much

I sometimes wonder if I care too much.  I already know the answer, which is that it’s really not possible to care too much. On the other hand, the risks of caring too much are related to how much that caring is associated with expectations. I’ve written about expectations, and the problem with them is that they can lead to disappointment.  Depending on the level of disappointment, the negative impact on one’s physiological being can be significant.  I’ve also written about stress and its impact on the body. It’s all part of the same issue.  Passion can be good.  It is usually associated with purpose, which is a necessary component of our lives.  On the other hand, when passion is associated with caring and expectations, the untoward effects of the emotional impact of being disappointed can be profound.  

On a human compassion level, this issue has its greatest potential impact.  I know that when my wife or one of my kids is hurting, it’s like kryptonite to me.  This is the ultimate pain that comes from caring too much.  But I’d never want to care any less than I do about the people that I love.  Ironically, when it comes to my work over the past thirty five years as a physician and geriatrician, I often carry a similar level of caring.  This type of caring certainly has great meaning if you’re the patient.  Knowing that your doctor has invested that much emotional energy into your well being has to be a good thing.  Somehow, I have a feeling that my patient’s have always been aware of this.  It was why I would have trouble sleeping if I couldn’t figure out what to do with one of my patients.  It was why on many occasions I would lean back in my chair and stop and ponder while seeing a patient with a challenging issue.  

Caring too much extends in other directions.  I’ve always taken my work seriously, and commit to whomever I work for as if it were my own business.  Finally, my passion for all older adults  is driven by a deep concern for the health and wellbeing of this vulnerable population in our society.  It has been what has led me to passionately advocate for my patients, and ultimately for any older adult who is being poorly treated by our society.  Unfortunately, with the pervasive nature of ageism, this is not uncommon.  And so, I care too much. But I wouldn’t have it any other way!