Working Out, or Not

Six week ago, I was still giving thought to doing another Ironman.  I literally haven't had such thoughts since.  It's even a challenge to get myself to do the requisite pushups and squats that I'd come to both enjoy and value.  For some reason, they just haven't seemed important.  In fact, the only thing that's seemed important to me over the past six weeks is helping others.

It's ironic, but I had been fighting with myself for the past year when it came to this issue.  I've felt a strong need and desire to help others my entire life.  That need and desire has literally consumed me for the past six weeks.  To the point that nothing else matters.  Even working out.  Fortunately, I've been able to do a ton of walking.  I can walk when I'm on the phone, and I've even taken some walks when I'm not on the phone, although that is rare.  I have to be helping others, don't I?

Six weeks should be enough time to focus on everyone but myself.  If I continue down this path, I know that there are unhealthy aspects to it.  In fact, I've begun thinking about life after COVID-19.  All I can visualize is a life of peace and quiet.  I don't want to battle politicians or government bureaucrats.  I don't want to "play the game," or have to figure out something new every day.  I just want peace and quiet.  There was a time, not long ago, that peace and quiet was associated with working out.  Right now, I've lost that.  I need to get it back for a few reasons, not the least of which is my own sanity.  It's also healthy.  It's also something I had come not only to enjoy but to cherish.  My time in Kona, albeit complicated by illness, was an amazing time to just reflect and revel in the appreciation of my own self.

I started today with a set of 20 pushups and 20 squats.  I'll go do another now.  We'll see how the day goes.  Can I push these few minutes of exercise into the front of my brain and make them matter?  We'll see. Working out, or not?