From the Heart

It's been over a month since the Coronavirus crisis first became obvious to me and most of my fellow geriatricians and colleagues in the post acute and long term care world.  We all immediately knew what was coming.  Colleagues from around the country reached out to me early on.  I've watched and listened as they've gone from a quiet confidence related to their knowing what their facilities needed to do, to disappointment when they discovered that even their perceived best efforts weren't enough, to despair as they've seen first hand the brutal nature of this lethal virus.  

I've lived this every day with them. Those of you who know me are aware that I've been somewhat of a "crazy" person for the last few weeks.  My wife and daughter have regularly threatened me with an "intervention."  Yesterday, it hit me.  One of my mentors, someone who I respect and trust immensely, has been helping me to maintain some degree of equanimity.  Yesterday, the tables turned.  It was I who was working to keep his emotions from taking over.  The reason was simple. He'd encountered his first "in-person" experience with a resident who got the disease and quickly succumbed. The change in emotion was palpable. I'd seen it before, time and again from colleagues across the country over the past few weeks.  I've seen it on twitter from clinicians on the front lines.  

I'm so glad that I listened to some of our CALTCM Board members in putting together the "Town Hall" Webinar this past week with Drs. Gaur and Bach.  They were talking about what I didn't fully comprehend until yesterday.  We are living in a world that none of us are prepared for.  We are learning new things every day.  Understanding how we all cope with the reality of this virus will be important to all of our sanity.

I'll close with a personal story.  My wife and daughter have been living with my "craziness" for the greater part of a month.  While I've been concerned about every older adult living in nursing homes around the country, they've been listening to my frantic phone calls and outreach.  All the while, two of our friends have contracted the disease and have been fighting it.  I hadn't taken the time to let my wife know that I understood how she's feeling. All of us will feel helpless in the face of a foe that we can't see or hear.  More than ever, at this moment in time, we need each other.  Thanks to all of you for what you do.