Journey to Kona Day 204: Feeling Crushed

I woke up today feeling much better.  The fatigue had lessened considerably, and I was excited to get in another long bike ride.  It was a beautiful day, started out on the cool side as I rode the first loop of the 11.2 mile, 850 foot climbing loop in my neighborhood.  While the first hill is never easy, I felt like I was in a reasonable rhythm.  I wore my heart rate monitor and was watching my power readings, which were all pretty good.  I was getting in an adequate amount of calories and fluids as I completed my second loop.  The loop itself is almost never flat, starting with a one mile climb that has portions that get close to 10%.  The next climb starts as more of a "false flat" before turning up for a shorter, somewhat harder climb.  I get a short downhill reprieve at that point before starting the third, nearly one mile climb that rivals the first climb of the day.  Of note, the first climb is definitely the hardest, and it literally starts right away, as I have a 30 second ride down my street before turning to start the climb.  The prior "false flat" becomes a stretch where I can go fast while pedaling, but not feel like I'm actually descending before I hit another false flat before I get to the backside of the first climb, which is shorter, but starts out hard before smoothing out.  The first climb becomes a screaming downhill that garners all my attention as I hit 38-42mph.  Some times I don't touch my brakes and hit the 42 mph mark.  Other times I don't have the concentration to do so, tap my brakes a couple of times to scrub a little speed, and "just" go about 38 mph.  It's amazing what a few mph does for the confidence.  As I get to the bottom of the descent, I can either coast, or ramp up my wattage to try to get a Strava record for the downhill.  That can be dicey, however, as I have the quarter mile steep climb back to my house at the end of the loop.  Some loops I just put my bike in its lowest gear and try to spin up the hill, other times I hammer up the hill until I can't, and other times I hammer up the hill for the requisite one minute of torture and my highest one minute power outputs.

Today, I kept thinking about how many loops I would do.  I started the day with a vague plan to ride about five hours or so, which would mean at least 6 loops, and probably seven.  When I had completed the fourth loop, I stopped at home to use the bathroom and replenish my fluids.  Up until this point, I had been feeling fine, and my heart rate, wattage and paces seemed to be right on target. As I left my house, I had a fleeting thought to just stay home and finish my ride, but I'd ridden 3 hours and 15 minutes, and I really wanted to get in at least four hours.  I had started thinking about my next long ride on Saturday, and that today's ride was really the prologue to that ride.  I didn't want to sacrifice Saturday for some extra miles today.  And therein was my first inaccurate thought.  It wasn't about the miles, or even the absolute number of hours today.  I was climbing 1000 feet every hour, and the cumulative impact of each hour was heightened because of that.  If I'd been riding on a perfectly flat course, I could have easily ridden 5-6 hours without even noticing it.  So, today's ride was having a positive training effect. I had even been thinking of running a short while when I finished my ride today.

I decided to do one more loop and then call it a day.  However, knowing that I just had one loop left, I somehow decided to ride hard for the entire loop.  Looking back at my power and heart rate, that's exactly what I did.  In fact, I increased my power by approximately 20 percent from where it had been the entire ride.  The 47 minutes that the loop had been taking was shortened to about 42 minutes.  My "need" to put in some hard effort was assuaged, but I didn't quite comprehend the toll it would take on me for the rest of the day.

I was still feeling fine when I got home.  I ate, got in the requisite protein, calories and fluid, and laid down to watch some television.  About 45 minutes later, I felt like the bottom had dropped out, so I took a nap.  I awoke about an hour later feeling refreshed, but that was probably the high point of my day.  About the only way to describe how I felt the rest of the day is that I felt "crushed."  I kept eating and drinking, hoping that would help.  I kept resting.  I had some "work" that I needed to do, but the thought of thinking was just overwhelming.  Knowing that I needed to get the work done became very stressful.  I even began to get the onset of a panic attack, which I knew made no sense and was unnecessary.  I finally settled down enough to get most of the work done before going to bed.

I fell asleep wondering how I'd wake up in the morning, and whether I'd get in my swim that I'd planned to do.