Journey to Kona Day 192: Caring Too Much Part 2

The other aspect of caring to much that becomes a problem is combining it with a touch of perfectionism.  When solving every problem, helping every person, figuring out the best solution, is tied to caring, it's combination that can only lead to stress and disappointment.  There are rarely certain solutions to any problem.  On of my favorite leadership discussions revolves around the fact that there is rarely 100 percent certainty around the answer to any question.  This is particularly true in the realm of the care of complex older adults.  It's ironic that as a leader I'm able to help others understand that we often have to make decisions where we barely have 50% certainty, but that I don't necessarily heed my own advice!

It's interesting that when it comes to triathlon, I've never had trouble accepting the lack of perfection, and that I've been able to modulate how much I care about the sport.  Maybe that's the point.  It's a sport.  Caring about people is by its very definition a more serious endeavor.  But then again, we all tend to take ourselves too seriously.

It's time that I let go a little bit of putting other peoples lives on my shoulders.  It's an impossible task without a positive outcome.  Every individual ultimately has their own responsibility to care about themselves.  The only exception to this rule are children.  Even in that realm, I'm blessed with the "luxury" of being a grandparent, which means that when my grandson is directly under my purview, that I can and will care too much and take that responsibility seriously.  However, he has parents to take on that role when I'm not around.  That reminds me of when my grandfather paged me at the airport in Amsterdam when I was seventeen.  I always say that I get my worrying genes from him, as well as from my mother.  I love to joke that I'm a worrier, not a warrior.  But, genetics are only one part of how we become who we are.  It's on me to help protect myself from the ravages of caring too much too seriously.