Chasing Numbers

I'm not sure if I'll run today.  Sleeping in was a greater priority.  Getting in 32 miles of running for the week versus 24 miles is just a number.  Getting another day of rest might be a greater priority.  I won't know until the day unfolds.  I have a call this morning, so I've already missed my morning "window" to run.  That might actually be ok, if it gets me to focus on how I feel and what my body wants and needs today.  Since I went to sleep later than usual last night, at least my body knew enough to get a good night's sleep.  That is absolutely critical for me these days.  

It really shouldn't be about a number.  As I try to find the balance in my life, what I do from a running, and ultimately triathlon, perspective, should not be about chasing numbers. It should be about how I feel.  It shouldn't be about what I do on any particular day, but how the flow of my life feels.  I've been allowing myself to watch the Tour de France this week. I say allow, because it feels like I'm giving myself a treat, or letting myself step away from the seriousness that has become my life in the past six months.  I've always been a very serious person, but there must be a balance to that.  Chasing numbers is part of that seriousness.  

I had wanted to assert myself and achieve the best time possible at Kona last year. It's been eleven months since I finished the Kona Ironman World Championship.  I got sick the week of the race and, on race day, was really unable to chase a number.  The day became about the experience, as well it should be.  I remember reminding myself, as I rode my bike down the Queen K, that I had a front row seat, no, I was on the field, of the biggest event in triathlon.  It was like being on the field at the Super Bowl.  As I came on the finish line, it wasn't about chasing a number, it was about patting the 75 year old gentlemen in front of me on the back, proud of what he'd achieved.  That's what it's all about!