Dreams

I've been a bit of a "dreamer" my whole life. I've always wanted to change the world for the better.  When I was in 7th grade, I decided that I didn't need to go through the 8th grade.  It seemed like more of a "social" year to me. I pushed to skip the 8th grade, which I eventually did.  I was going to finish high school in three years, but ultimately changed my mind and stayed on for my senior year, though I did manage to accumulate a half a year of college credits in the process.  After a year and a half of college, I dropped out of school and immigrated to Israel.  The reasons were complicated, but in some ways I needed to fully demonstrate my independence so I could decide my future for myself.  I often use the term "iconoclast" to describe myself.  I have always followed the beat of my own drum. With that "beat" has come a number of dreams which I've pursued.

When I got into the "real world," from a work perspective, I always had my own thoughts on how things should work.  My goals were still to make a difference.  My passion for the health and wellbeing of older adults has driven my "work" life for the past three and a half decades.  Many of my "dreams" revolved around this.  I ran a company, and then I helped build my own company. I got into the "quality improvement" world and did some fun stuff, and then found myself running a nearly billion dollar nursing home operation.  One doesn't do any of this while working nine to five.

I was also asthmatic as a kid, and although I loved sports, I struggled in most of my attempts to be athletic.  In 1982, I got the idea of doing the ironman.  Now I've done "The" Ironman.  Along the way I've made choices, I've been a work-a-holic, I've put in lots of time working, training, racing, and politicking.  I've followed my dreams.  Along the way, I had two wonderful daughters, and inherited a son.  I've always had a tendency to support them and whatever their dreams are.  I know I'll do the same for my grandson.

In early September of 1976, I was in the suite of my dorm, Discovery Hall, when this girl came in with one of my suite mates.  She was wearing jean overalls.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I was smitten.  I also felt like I was in over my head.  There's no way that someone so beautiful would even think twice about me.  Skipping the 8th grade had not helped with my social skills.  I'd never really dated anyone at that point.  But, I still knew that she was the one. Somehow, I got lucky.  She saw something in me and we became friends.  By the new year I got up the gumption to ask her on a date.  In May of 1982, my dream came true.  I married my best friend and soul mate.

For the last 37 years, as I have followed all of my other dreams, she has supported me in those endeavors.  She has been my life's Sherpa.  During most of those years, she chose to follow one of her dreams, and that was to have two amazing daughters.  As a mother, she has been as fierce as a lioness or bear in protecting her children.  She would, and has, done anything for them.  She is a remarkably talented song writer (and writer for that matter), but has put aside her dreams so that I can follow mine and our kids can follow theirs.  As I spent my day "meditating" on Saturday, there was a moment of clarity upon which I knew what I had to do next.  It is my wife's turn to follow her dreams.  Anything and everything that I can do to help support her is my priority.  In that moment, doing more Ironman's suddenly had no meaning.  In fact, I've achieved my dreams, and while I will always have goals (I'm wired that way), it's time for the dream achieving torch to be passed from me to her.

I am signed up to do the St. George Ironman in May.  I'm one of only 26 people to have finished the first three.  I won't keep that streak going, because it's only a streak.  There was a time that there was meaning to having such a streak, but right now, the only thing that means anything is to help my wife pursue her dreams.  Achieving a goal for the goals sake isn't really what I've ever been about.  From a work perspective, I've always been very mission driven.  I've even couched my Ironman dreams in the context of health and wellness.  In May of 1982, I made a vow, and perhaps we didn't promise to help each other achieve our dreams, but we might as well have.  My wife has supported and helped me to achieve everything that I've ever dreamt of.  It's my turn to help her do the same.  It's time for her to pursue whatever dreams she chooses.  It will be my privilege to be her Sherpa.