It's hard to believe that I haven't written in 20 days, and that my last blog was about getting "off track." The last 20 days have been anything but getting back on track. With the rise of Omicron and the uncertainty around its spread and impact, I went back to some of my old ways. Instead of awakening to reading, stretching and writing, I found myself obsessed and consumed yet again. For a couple of weeks, I still managed to run and start biking (which felt great). But, there was something wrong. It finally reached its pinnacle several days ago, when I began feeling fatigued in a way that wasn't good. It wasn't just the training, which had actually been solid, but hadn't been overwhelming. It was the daily adrenaline rush.
My first effort was to get CALTCM's Board to approve a resolution, which they did on December 31st. My secondary effort was to promote the resolution in social media. Ahhh, social media. Twitter. Where I think I have an impact, but may only be speaking to my own echo chamber. Yes, I've been quoted in a few news articles in the past few weeks. Yes, my message continues to be honed. But, I spend an inordinate amount of time in my echo chamber. Writing this, I can feel the unhealthiness of it all. And, so, here I am, endeavoring to get back on track.
I have expunged certain tasks and jobs over the past two weeks. Yet, I keep finding new things to do. Part of this is my ever thinking mind. Part of it is circumstances beyond my control, but are they really? It's up to me how I spend my day and what I focus on. I've written about the need for structure and consistency, and then, I get off track. Twenty one days. That's what my father has always said. Twenty one days to a habit. And so, on Day 123 of my Journey Back to Kona, I must commit myself to the next 21 days.
Read, stretch, write. That is what I am doing right now. That is how my days must begin. I know that grounds me. I know that sets me up for whatever I need to do in a day. I can choose to write what I wish every day. I can choose to read what I wish every day. Ultimately, my ironman training will define itself, as it typically does, by how I feel and what I choose to do. Ironman training is for me. That is something that I've come to realize and appreciate. It's why I chose to title my blog the "Journey Back to Kona." It's what I am choosing to do for myself.
I've struggled my whole life with wanting to do things for others. Oft times to the detriment of my own family, others is a broad term for humanity. From writing a letter to President Johnson to end the war. To writing a letter to President Carter and Menachem Begin regarding Middle East peace. To writing letters to President Reagan and Carter, I've long tried to make a difference. It should come as no surprise to me that my greatest weakness might come from actually succeeding. I'm communicating with public officials and the media. My voice is being heard. It only drives me to do more. But what about me?
And so, it is time to get back on track. I have a half ironman in 11 weeks. A full ironman in 16 weeks. I'm literally in the best run shape of my life. I should get into bike and swim shape. No pressure. That, I've made clear to myself recently. It truly is about the training and how I feel. Results don't matter, whether it's ironman or life. Which is why getting back on track is what truly matters right now.
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