Journey Back to Kona Day 54: Adrenaline and the Importance of Balance.

I wrote yesterday about the adrenaline rush that I get from multiple sources.  When it occurs, it certainly doesn't feel negative. However, and I know this all too well, the impact on the body is significant. Not only does the body only have so much adrenaline it can handle, each surge sets off it's own cascade of other hormones and bodily responses.  Getting ramped up has its benefits in the moment, but crashing down afterwards is inevitable.  Therein lies the rub, and the importance of balance.

I started my day yesterday with meditation.  Ironically, the guided meditation on balance that I chose spoke directly to yesterday's blog.  It reminded me of the odd coincidence's that have followed me since the beginning of the pandemic.  Finding balance is about making choices, not unlike the game where you keep adding blocks, all the while trying to avoid having the structure come crashing down.  Maybe the better analogy is one of keeping a tree trimmed on a regular basis, lest it get too full and the branches will break during a storm.  It's time to start trimming!

There's only so many things that one can do in a day, and though I might like them all, I need to make choices.  Therein lies my problem.  I don't know how to say no.  I can't say no to others, and I can't even say no to myself.  Hence, the need for and the importance of balance.

I often look back upon and remember Ironman St. George in 2012, where I worried that someone would die, but that it wouldn't be me.  I felt a peace and equanimity for some time after that race.  I actually felt like I was in balance. I would even get up in the morning in our new house, and sit in the backyard while reading the newspaper.  This was new to me, and ultimately, I don't think that I knew how to handle it.  It wasn't too long before I began to revert back to what had been my norm.  That norm had me looking for things to do, that norm had me keeping busy.  That norm brought back the adrenaline.  

I've already recognized that the first step in achieving balance is to add structure, and start that structure by meditating first thing in the morning immediately after I write my blog (funny, I've made excuses for not writing every day, I guess I just changed that). That must be my first step.  Nothing can get in the way of my morning meditation. Nothing. I also need to take control over the uncontrollable.  That means emails, the internet, texts and phone calls.  There's really no gradual approach to this.  Today is the day that I put my new schedule on my calendar.  My entire day can no longer be open for all of the things that I do. It's unsustainable, and only adds to the inability to manage the adrenaline. 

That's it for today.  Tomorrow, perhaps I'll write about the positives of adrenaline and how to appreciate it.