I used to say that I ran because I had to. I have a family history of heart disease, and running certainly seems to be as, if not more, protective than medications. And, that's what I've said to my wife when she talks to me about how much I like running. Yes, there have been times that I've run because I've known it's good for me. There have certainly been days that I didn't feel like running, but I ran anyway, usually because my coach had written it into my workout log, or because I was training for some event. There have also been days that my legs are sore and tired, but once I get out and run everything seems ok, which is always strange and seemingly counterintuitive.
I did a hard downhill mile yesterday, and today my quads a somewhat sore. Mentally, I've been planning to do a long trail run tomorrow. I still want to, and I know that even if I have some residual soreness tomorrow, a long trail run will still be in the cards because....how the hell do I expect my legs to feel at the end of an ironman? I'm pretty sure that tomorrow is a go, and I'm also pretty sure that afterwards I'll be excited by how far I could run on sore, tired legs. Been there and done that, many times.
Do I run because I have to? Do I run because I want to be healthy? Do I run because I enjoy suffering? Do I actually enjoy running? Ironically, I think that the answer is all of the above. I had never run a mile straight in my life until I was 32 years old, and first built up my legs using a Stairmaster. Also, I worked my way up to 4 miles on a treadmill before ever running outdoors, and I always wore headphones. In fact, I always wore headphones until I was doing a relatively long run in Orange County in a nature reserve, when, in the middle of my run, I took the headphones off and just enjoyed nature. I've never worn headphones again while running.
Yesterday reminded me of the pure joy I can feel while running. Some days the joy is there. Other days, running is my meditation. Some days running is my opportunity to think. Other days, it's a chance to escape from life's pressures. It's also an opportunity for me to push my limits, which I love to do. Figuring out how to go faster, or run farther, these are goals and challenges that get me out the door onto my next run. Tomorrow will be another day to run, and the reason will be a mixture of everything I've mentioned. So, I guess I'll be happy running!
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