Nothing

For the past 4 1/2 months, I wake up almost every day with something on my mind.  Today, nothing.  At first, it bothered me.  What do I blog about? So, I began to try to think of a topic.  I tried to think of a a priority. Why? Why do I have to have an important thought for the day? Why can't I just revel in nothing? 

Last year all that mattered to me was going to Kona.  My life was consumed with thoughts of Kona.  It meant so much to me.  I often think about my 10 days in Kona.  I think about my daily meals at the restaurants next door to the hotel, where I would sit by myself and look out at the ocean.  There was a peacefulness that I felt that is still unique to me.  I'm someone who always has to have something on my mind.  Even in Kona?  Well, in some ways, I was totally focused on the experience.  I was focused on the moment. The week became a bit of a blur because I wasn't feeling well.  I tried hard to ignore how I felt.  In many ways, my training had put me in peak condition, but then whatever ailed me that week took a bit of a toll, except that I ignored it.  When I think back about that week, it's actually hard to recall not feeling well.

The mind is an amazing thing.  I'm always needing to keep busy, except when I'm not.  Running should be that escape.  Running should be Kona.  It hasn't really been.  I tend to think about whatever is on my mind.  Today, nothing. I'm not sure how long this feeling of nothingness will last.  As I write, I think instead of fighting it, I'll embrace it.  That's the idea anyway.  I can picture the ocean view in Kona.  Something.