No Fear (Originally titled Will Power)

In rehashing my 5K I've come to realize that physically I should be prepared to run faster.  Somehow, mentally, I'm not.  I was explaining to my wife the relative difference between the all out effort at the end of an Ironman versus the all out effort at the end of a 5K.  They are different.  I can remember the last two miles at Ironman Chattanooga, my fastest Ironman ever.  I was breathing hard, grunting with every other foot strike.  Every ounce of my being was focused on going as hard and as fast as I could.  During an Ironman, the feeling I would get when I sped up to much was one of overwhelming fatigue, like a light switch that was literally on a hair trigger about to got off.  I remember that feeling at Ironman St. George in 2012 during the last couple miles of the run.

The last two miles of a 5K are different.  Trying to run as fast as I can without the balance of overwhelming fatigue brought on by 10-12 hours of swimming, biking and running is a completely different animal.  I used to know how it felt.  I'm struggling to find that feeling again.  Right now, my central governor is winning this battle.  I can run fast for 200m.  I can run fast for 400m.  But I know I'm about to rest, allowing me to push my body harder for that 40 or 85 second period of time. The first mile has usually been my fastest. I can go out fast.  I can suffer for a mile.  The second mile has usually been my challenge.  It's when my mind starts chiming in, when the central governor says to me, you can't go this fast.  Somehow, during the third mile, I find some strength, unless I don't, which when I think about it, I usually struggle.  Oftentimes, as I come to the finish line, my legs find some short term speed, letting me know that my central governor was actually winning prior to that moment.

There have been a couple of exceptions to this story.  My fastest 5K, on my 49th birthday, was one of those.  I was in the zone.  There were no doubts. When a young kid came past me near the end of the 2nd mile, I literally laughed inside and stayed with him, until he broke.  I'd usually be the one to break.  Not on that day.  It was like the day I ran my best sprint triathlon.  There was no fear.

No Fear.  Maybe that's what it's all about.  Ironically, maybe my 5K focus this year can meld with my life's focus.  No Fear.  Our central governor works in strange ways.  It thinks that it's comforting us.  It thinks that it's protecting us.  While that may be true at times, at other times it's just plain wrong.  And so, I move up to running 800m repeats.  In some ways, 200's and 400's have been too easy, too comfortable.  Let's see what 800m repeats without quite enough rest in between do for my central governor, and my fear.