My coach reminded me today of the value of listening to one’s body and knowing when you’re ready. Our conversation was focused on cycling and running, but I immediately realized what it meant on another level. Ever since I quit my job in November, I’ve been lost. Something has been missing and I’ve been looking for it. My coaches reminder today made me realize that I just have to wait for it to come to me, which it has been starting to do as of late.
I have an opportunity later this week to share my thoughts on what it takes to effectively educate doctors, nurse practitioners and physician assistants on how to deliver person centered care. This feels right to me. It’s something that I’ve both talked about and actually done over the years. It’s sorely needed in a healthcare system that tends to focus on how many patients one can see in a day, or on how much money one can make performing a procedure or selling a product. It’s easy to sit down and write about it, and I know it will be even easier to stand up in front of a group and talk about it!
I’ve also continued to procrastinate on my book project, which is also along the lines of promoting the approach to caring for older adults that I’ve lived for the past thirty years. The reason for this has been more complex. I know that this is what I want to do, but I actually think that I’ve been afraid to move forward. Fear is not something that is typically in my vocabulary. Yet, the fear will dissipate when it’s the right time, and that time is now.
On the triathlon front, my body has been telling me a lot in the past week. While the bulk of my training will invariably have to be at a level of intensity that allows me to put in a high volume of work, I usually want something more. My coach recognizes this and will allow me to sprinkle in some of the intense workouts that I crave. I really do seem to like putting myself through painful training and racing. In some ways, that is why my favorite race is probably a 5K. There’s nothing, to me at least, like finishing a 5K in extreme discomfort, to the point of feeling like I’m about to throw up or pass out. I can achieve this feeling at the end of an ironman, and have achieved it on a few occasions. Ironically, I found myself in this zone near the end of my recent 100 mile event. It will be interesting to see what I decide to do next year in terms of training, based on my predilection towards intensity.
In the meantime, I’ll stick to accessing pain in my training and racing, rather than in life! I think that it’s far healthier to feel pain through extreme exercise, rather than by achieving it through emotional distress brought on by conflict in the work environment. It’s funny, I used to say that I wanted to become a high school chemistry teacher when I retired. Since I’ve forgotten chemistry, I think I’ll just look for opportunities to teach the things that are important to me. It feels like the right time to do this.
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