February 1982. I loved sports and regularly watched Wide World of Sports. ‘The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat.’ I was 22 years old and a first year medical student. I had never run a full mile in my life, having grown up with asthma and believing that I had limited athletic abilities. Yet, as I watched Julie Moss cross the finish line of the Ironman, something clicked. This was something that I wanted to do someday. In retrospect, what clicked was a connection to who I was as a person. I was someone who would always set the bar higher than what seemed achievable. I also intuitively knew that reaching that bar was not the true goal. The goal is the journey itself. There have been times in my life that I’ve forgotten this, though rarely in my athletic endeavors. Recently, in my life’s journey, I set an impossible bar and subsequently struggled emotionally with the consequences of not reaching it. Perhaps that is why my 37 year journey to compete at the ironman in Kona has taken on a greater meaning and purpose. It’s a way of coming back to the balance point that I’ve always wanted to define myself by. In 35 weeks, I’ll be at the start line in Kona, competing at the Ironman World Championship.
Life kept me from my ironman goal until I realized that I couldn’t put it off forever. My first ironman was at the age of 50, and I completed it just 6 months after breaking my clavicle, hip socket and pelvis in a bike accident. While the idea of qualifying for Kona was always in my head, the reality was much starker. The Legacy program gave me a new goal of completing 12 ironman’s and ultimately getting to Kona that way. I’ve got my “ticket” to Kona this year through the Legacy program, but my self-competitive nature will not rest on that. I have to make the most of this opportunity. Crossing the finish line this October in Kona feeling anything less than having given it my all won’t feel right. It’s not how I’ve raced the majority of my ironman’s and it’s not how I’ve approached my life. I want this year’s Kona experience to build on how I felt at Ironman Boulder in 2016.
Three years ago I set out to complete a twenty mile run every week for twenty weeks. I did this for a couple of reasons. First, because the 20 x 20 concept sounded cool! Second, because ultimately, if I was to ever achieve a qualifying spot for Kona in my age group, I would need to have a good run. Looking back, I approached my 20 x 20 goal after a really rough year. I had signed up for three ironman’s in 2015, and only raced in one (didn’t start the first due to back problems, and the third one was cancelled due to a hurricane). My body, however, had been tired in 2015, as most likely was my mind and emotional self. Over the course of 20 weeks, the 20 mile run went from feeling hard to feeling routine. I’ll never forget that after 15 weeks I began to think about my next goal! In retrospect, my swim and bike training were nothing spectacular, which made my performance at Ironman Boulder in 2016 all the more remarkable. My swim was ok, although several minutes slower than what had been my average ironman swim time. My bike was solid, only the second time ever that I biked under 6 hours, and the first time I’d never felt any “doldrums” on the bike. I came off the bike 17th in my age group, and just focused on running. It was a hot day and while I slowed down towards the end, I kept running. When I finished, I was spent, and literally lied down and couldn’t move for 45 minutes. I had run to 6th in my age group! One place off a podium position, and 45 minutes from a Kona qualifying spot. More notably, my time would have won the 60-64 year old age group that I was three years away from.
So here I am today. 35 weeks from competing in Kona. I want to represent myself well. I want my ultimate goal to represent who I am as a human being. I’m not going to Kona just to finish. I’m going to prepare myself better than I ever have and then I’m going to do what I usually do, give it everything I’ve got! Until this past week, I wasn’t sure how this was going to play out. Over the past year and a half, my training has dropped off dramatically. I’ve also been through some of my most emotionally trying experiences. It’s time to focus. Over the past week, I’ve run every day, and I’ve finally got back on my bike after several months away. I can feel the cobwebs loosening and my resolve returning. I also think that I need to capture every day of this journey, which is what I’m starting today!
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