I rode my bike for nearly 3 1/2 hours today. I felt like I was home, literally. There is no question but that Kona took a lot out of me. I trained hard. I raced hard, despite being sick. When I finished, I felt like I was done. It makes sense. My body was depleted. I'd reached the pinnacle of my dreams for Ironman racing. Yet, for the past 4 1/2 months, something has been missing. During my bike ride today, I realized that I wasn't depressed. In a way, it was an odd realization. Upon reflection, it meant that I've been depressed. I've been trying to find the right course for myself. For many years, the training that I did for Ironman seemed to be the right course. I've always had an affinity for triathlon, and always seemed to be drawn towards Ironman. With that said, I've often been in denial, saying that I did this crazy Ironman thing for my health. It turns out that I love the training. I felt at peace the other day swimming for an hour straight, not bothering to try to swim as hard as I could, but focusing on enjoying the motion and the flow of swimming for an hour straight. I could have swam longer. It would have been fine. For someone like myself, who is Type A and always pushing, this is healthy. When I ran yesterday for nearly two hours, it felt right. I didn't try to break any speed records, I just enjoyed the flow of running and the peacefulness and mindfulness of being outside an moving. Today, it felt right to wake up and get on my bike. I wasn't trying to prove anything, although I was curious how my legs and body would respond having not been on my bike for over two months. Damn, I rode my bike for nearly 3 1/2 hours. I felt fine. I felt at peace. I felt happy. I felt good.
The human body and the mind are amazing. I'm sure that I've struggled physiologically since I pounded myself into oblivion at Kona. Kona was a culmination of a lot of things. I loved my week there, despite the fact that I was pretty miserable due to my sinus infection. Since coming back, I've forgotten about that. I should be at a point in my life where I allow myself to focus on what makes me happy. Why not? I know that trying to help people is good. In many ways, I gain satisfaction from doing so. But, does it make me happy? To a degree, and to that degree, I can give some of my time.
Time. That's the real question. There are so many hours in a day. What I do with my time should be up to me. I should decide what brings me joy and focus on that. One thing is for sure. This week has taught me that swimming, biking and running does bring me joy. Over the next several days, it's time to hone in on the other things that I do with my life. Most of these things bring me mental satisfaction. They allow me to use my brain. There's some degree of joy in that. Problem solving can be fun! The key is balance. I've never been good at balance.
I remember when I was in high school. I had decided to graduate a year early, but came to the conclusion that I should actually enjoy my senior year in college. I ended up going part time to Cal State Long Beach, but I did take the time to enjoy my last year of high school. That might have been the last time that I effectively made such a decision. When I retired for the first time, this was what I meant to do, but other things got in the way and that approach got derailed.
I have the start. I feel like I'm home again, naturally.
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Friday, February 28, 2020
Meditative Running
Today was meditative. I ran a very hilly 11.3 miles comfortably. I let my mind do whatever it wanted to do. Some of the time was just enjoying the moments during the run. Some of the time was spent thinking about a variety of things I'm presently engaged with. I really am able to put myself in a meditative state during these types of runs. I was also able to just run. I haven't done a run like this since Kona. I have to admit that I miss it. I guess I really do like long runs and the feeling that they bring.
Running for nearly two hours not only felt good, but my legs also felt good. Good enough to go for a swim after my run. And, my swim went fine as well. Now I get to see how my legs feel tomorrow morning. There is value in meditation. There is value in running. Meditation is healthy. There is definitely something positive about comfortable distance training, whether it be running or swimming. Tomorrow, I'll see how my cycling meditative skills are doing. After Kona, it's been hard to know how this type of training feels again. I was definitely at peace most of last year during my training for Kona. Not doing that type of training has been a change for me. Not that I've been feeling like doing this type of training. Suddenly, I feel different.
I've been meditating daily every day this year. There's certainly a difference between meditating for 10 minutes and meditating during a long run, bike or swim. If I start doing more of this type of training, it will be interesting to see how it is reflected in my feelings of anxiety, or lack thereof. Today was a great start to meditative running.
Running for nearly two hours not only felt good, but my legs also felt good. Good enough to go for a swim after my run. And, my swim went fine as well. Now I get to see how my legs feel tomorrow morning. There is value in meditation. There is value in running. Meditation is healthy. There is definitely something positive about comfortable distance training, whether it be running or swimming. Tomorrow, I'll see how my cycling meditative skills are doing. After Kona, it's been hard to know how this type of training feels again. I was definitely at peace most of last year during my training for Kona. Not doing that type of training has been a change for me. Not that I've been feeling like doing this type of training. Suddenly, I feel different.
I've been meditating daily every day this year. There's certainly a difference between meditating for 10 minutes and meditating during a long run, bike or swim. If I start doing more of this type of training, it will be interesting to see how it is reflected in my feelings of anxiety, or lack thereof. Today was a great start to meditative running.
Thursday, February 27, 2020
Finding Peace
I found peace today. After a full day of "work," I stopped at the pool on the way home. I got in the water and started swimming. I focused on my form and feeing comfortable. I let at peace. An hour later, I got out of the pool. I could have kept swimming. My shoulders felt fine, my arms felt fine. I felt fine. Moreover, I was at peace. There is no better form of meditation than swimming. Swimming comfortably is perfect. I wasn't trying to swim fast. I wasn't trying to do anything. The only thing that I focused on was feeling one with the water. I was at peace.
What's remarkable about today's swim was that I haven't swam in well over two months, with the exception of a short swim early this week. The fact that I could jump in the water and swim for an hour straight was fascinating to me. Obviously, my form is still solid. From a strength perspective, I was a little slower than I had been six months ago, but not appreciably so. Crazy. I'm not sure why this was the case. I've been focused on running short distances and I've been doing a lot of body weight strength work. Somehow, that seems to have helped maintain a basic level of fitness.
I've done two 6 mile runs this week, and my legs have felt fine. I'll follow that up tomorrow with a bit of a longer run. It will be interesting to see how that feels. Probably the most important point of all of this is the fact that I felt at peace. My wife suggested that I needn't tie my training to a purpose, but rather should just do it for the pure joy. Which is what I did today. It was definitely peaceful. It's been 4 1/2 months since Kona. I don't know what's next, and I don't know why. What I do know is that I want peace. Why not?
What's remarkable about today's swim was that I haven't swam in well over two months, with the exception of a short swim early this week. The fact that I could jump in the water and swim for an hour straight was fascinating to me. Obviously, my form is still solid. From a strength perspective, I was a little slower than I had been six months ago, but not appreciably so. Crazy. I'm not sure why this was the case. I've been focused on running short distances and I've been doing a lot of body weight strength work. Somehow, that seems to have helped maintain a basic level of fitness.
I've done two 6 mile runs this week, and my legs have felt fine. I'll follow that up tomorrow with a bit of a longer run. It will be interesting to see how that feels. Probably the most important point of all of this is the fact that I felt at peace. My wife suggested that I needn't tie my training to a purpose, but rather should just do it for the pure joy. Which is what I did today. It was definitely peaceful. It's been 4 1/2 months since Kona. I don't know what's next, and I don't know why. What I do know is that I want peace. Why not?
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Pondering my Vote
I went for a six mile run today. I really like that feeling that I get when I'm just out running. I think that I've missed that. Hmmm, something else to ponder. However, I'd read a lot of the debate analysis this morning and I clearly am the only person in the entire world that thinks that Mike Bloomberg did well last n night! I guess I need to open my eyes and pay attention. Bloomberg is definitely a technocrat, and he is clearly not charismatic on any scale imaginable. I guess that disqualifies him in the eyes of many. Maybe he's too far right on business for Democrats and there's no question that he's too far left on social issues for Republicans and Libertarians. I've realized that all of the other candidates, with the exception of Tom Steyer, have varying degrees and types of charisma. Bernie has the gruff charm, Warren has the biting charm, Buttigieg has the schoolboy charm. Klobuchar is also lacking in charisma, but has more than Bloomberg and Steyer combined. That leaves Biden. Everyone seemed to think he did great last night, and my daughter and I felt like he was yelling at us. Maybe that's his charisma, channelling the younger Joe Biden.
If I had to rank all of them on a narcissist scale, they'd probably all score high, although I may have to study up on that for the next debate. In fact, that's what I'm going to do next time, score them all on a narcissism scale! I don't know what I'll do with the result, but it will give me something to think about. That leaves me with my decision on who to vote for. While Bloomberg will get plenty of votes from people who watch advertisements, it seems that almost none of the political pundits like him. Is that a reason not to vote for him? Is the fact that he'll really be a benevolent dictator a reason not to vote for him. He's obviously not a good debater. Is that a reason not to vote for him? If not him, then, it will clearly be Buttigieg. There's my choice. Time to ponder.
If I had to rank all of them on a narcissist scale, they'd probably all score high, although I may have to study up on that for the next debate. In fact, that's what I'm going to do next time, score them all on a narcissism scale! I don't know what I'll do with the result, but it will give me something to think about. That leaves me with my decision on who to vote for. While Bloomberg will get plenty of votes from people who watch advertisements, it seems that almost none of the political pundits like him. Is that a reason not to vote for him? Is the fact that he'll really be a benevolent dictator a reason not to vote for him. He's obviously not a good debater. Is that a reason not to vote for him? If not him, then, it will clearly be Buttigieg. There's my choice. Time to ponder.
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Debate Night
This time, I developed a scorecard. There were two categories. The first category was for policy. I scored answers on a scale of 1 to 3, and gave credit for responses to specific topics. Honestly, I listened for what made sense to me. My focus was on substance, not style. I've noticed online that some commentators didn't like the way that Mike Bloomberg looked in answering questions, but I thought that his answers were straightforward and made sense. He also had a lot of answers, which meant that he made sure that he got the opportunity to respond. In the end, he got 34 points, with the most responses. It turns out that he spoke for 13.3 minutes, giving him 2.6 points/minute speaking. I thought that he did the most with his time. On substance, I think that he stayed focused on what he could do, and avoided attacking others, though he responded when he needed to (I'll get to that later). I believe that Bloomberg completely turned around his previous debate performance.
Second in scoring was Pete Buttigieg. Once again, he was smart and sharp in his policy responses. He also was more disciplined in not getting pulled into fights. He got 27 points, which translated to 2.2 points/minute for his 12.3 minutes of speaking time. He also had a few really good sound bites. I continue to like him. Third in scoring was Amy Klobuchar, with 24 points, although she only scored 1.8 points/minute for her 13.5 minutes, telling me that she didn't fully take advantage of her opportunities. Ironically, the person with the next highest policy score was Tom Steyer, who got 17 points, but managed 2.4 points/minute in his debate low 7 minutes of speaking time. He was almost a non-entity, but when he spoke, he was articulate and made good points.
Now we get to the lower tier. Bernie Sanders managed 16 points, but that was primarily because he ended up with the most minutes of speaking time, thus 1 point per minute. I was completely unimpressed with his platitude at this point. He can articulate what's wrong, I get that, but I'm less than impressed with his solutions. He also took a ton of hits tonight. Rounding out the bottom were Biden and Warren, both with 10 points and 0.8 points per minute in their 12.5 and 13 minutes of speaking respectively. My daughter made a great comment about Biden. He seemed to be yelling all night. Some of the commentators seem to take this as his being engaged and passionate, honestly, I felt like my daughter did, that he was yelling at us.
And now for the second part of my scorecard, the fight card. This was fascinating. I gave positive points (from 1 to 3) for direct hits by one candidate on another, and I gave negative points if the candidate either effectively deflected the hit or the hit didn't connect. The person who got the most points for landing direct hits or effectively deflecting them was Buttigieg, who garnered 14 points, mostly for absolutely battering Sanders. He even got a couple of hits in on Bloomberg. Klobuchar also effectively landed hits on Bloomberg, Biden, Warren and Sanders. Steyer landed hits on Bloomberg, Biden and Sanders. Bloomberg weighed into the fight and landed hits or effectively parried Warrens attempts. He also did the same with Sanders. I felt that Warren's attempts at fighting were all off the mark, as were Bernie's.
One really interesting thing about having a scorecard is that I could look at how many hits were landed on specific candidates. It wasn't even close. Sanders took a net of 24 points worth of hits. The next was Warren who had 5 point, most of which came from her hits being off the mark (mostly on Bloomberg). I really thought that Warren continues to focus on being nasty, rather than focusing on effectively laying out policy ideas. I know that her brothers were in the military and that she comes from a family of teachers. There were multiple attempts to hit Bloomberg, but I felt that he parried them all effectively, and ended up with the most negative points in the fight (which would actually be a positive for him overall). Almost no one tried to take on Steyer or Klobuchar, in fact the only person who tried, and didn't succeed, was Biden. Also, no one really took on Buttigieg, though Sanders tried to fight back a couple of times.
In the aggregate, adding the policy scores to the fighting scores, Bloomberg and Buttigieg were tied at 41 points. If I use policy as the tiebreaker, Bloomberg wins. Third was Klobuchar with 32 points and fourth was Steyer with 23. Bringing up the rear were Sanders, Biden and Warren.
The interesting thing about keeping a scorecard was that I was focused on what they said, not how they looked or acted. I was listening to their responses to the questions and to each others critiques. Bloomberg make up for his prior debate performance. Buttigieg shows he belongs, as does Klobuchar. It's time for Warren, Biden and Steyer to drop out. I'll read and listen to the pundits over the next few days to see if any of their comments change my mind. I'm still on the fence for who to vote for on Super Tuesday.
Second in scoring was Pete Buttigieg. Once again, he was smart and sharp in his policy responses. He also was more disciplined in not getting pulled into fights. He got 27 points, which translated to 2.2 points/minute for his 12.3 minutes of speaking time. He also had a few really good sound bites. I continue to like him. Third in scoring was Amy Klobuchar, with 24 points, although she only scored 1.8 points/minute for her 13.5 minutes, telling me that she didn't fully take advantage of her opportunities. Ironically, the person with the next highest policy score was Tom Steyer, who got 17 points, but managed 2.4 points/minute in his debate low 7 minutes of speaking time. He was almost a non-entity, but when he spoke, he was articulate and made good points.
Now we get to the lower tier. Bernie Sanders managed 16 points, but that was primarily because he ended up with the most minutes of speaking time, thus 1 point per minute. I was completely unimpressed with his platitude at this point. He can articulate what's wrong, I get that, but I'm less than impressed with his solutions. He also took a ton of hits tonight. Rounding out the bottom were Biden and Warren, both with 10 points and 0.8 points per minute in their 12.5 and 13 minutes of speaking respectively. My daughter made a great comment about Biden. He seemed to be yelling all night. Some of the commentators seem to take this as his being engaged and passionate, honestly, I felt like my daughter did, that he was yelling at us.
And now for the second part of my scorecard, the fight card. This was fascinating. I gave positive points (from 1 to 3) for direct hits by one candidate on another, and I gave negative points if the candidate either effectively deflected the hit or the hit didn't connect. The person who got the most points for landing direct hits or effectively deflecting them was Buttigieg, who garnered 14 points, mostly for absolutely battering Sanders. He even got a couple of hits in on Bloomberg. Klobuchar also effectively landed hits on Bloomberg, Biden, Warren and Sanders. Steyer landed hits on Bloomberg, Biden and Sanders. Bloomberg weighed into the fight and landed hits or effectively parried Warrens attempts. He also did the same with Sanders. I felt that Warren's attempts at fighting were all off the mark, as were Bernie's.
One really interesting thing about having a scorecard is that I could look at how many hits were landed on specific candidates. It wasn't even close. Sanders took a net of 24 points worth of hits. The next was Warren who had 5 point, most of which came from her hits being off the mark (mostly on Bloomberg). I really thought that Warren continues to focus on being nasty, rather than focusing on effectively laying out policy ideas. I know that her brothers were in the military and that she comes from a family of teachers. There were multiple attempts to hit Bloomberg, but I felt that he parried them all effectively, and ended up with the most negative points in the fight (which would actually be a positive for him overall). Almost no one tried to take on Steyer or Klobuchar, in fact the only person who tried, and didn't succeed, was Biden. Also, no one really took on Buttigieg, though Sanders tried to fight back a couple of times.
In the aggregate, adding the policy scores to the fighting scores, Bloomberg and Buttigieg were tied at 41 points. If I use policy as the tiebreaker, Bloomberg wins. Third was Klobuchar with 32 points and fourth was Steyer with 23. Bringing up the rear were Sanders, Biden and Warren.
The interesting thing about keeping a scorecard was that I was focused on what they said, not how they looked or acted. I was listening to their responses to the questions and to each others critiques. Bloomberg make up for his prior debate performance. Buttigieg shows he belongs, as does Klobuchar. It's time for Warren, Biden and Steyer to drop out. I'll read and listen to the pundits over the next few days to see if any of their comments change my mind. I'm still on the fence for who to vote for on Super Tuesday.
Monday, February 24, 2020
Is Sanders now Disqualified?
Bernie Sanders not only choice not to speak at the upcoming AIPAC conference, but put out a tweet that was highly inflammatory and negative in regards to AIPAC. I've already had my concerns about him for many reasons, but this puts me over the top when it comes to my complete inability to support him. When Pete Buttigieg calls out Sanders and his supporters as being divisive, he is right. When Sanders is asked about how he'll fund Medicare for All, he doesn't answer, and tends to attack anyone who asks reasonable questions. Does this sound familiar? I'm beginning to wonder if Bernie Sanders isn't the mirror image of donald trump.
Sanders tweeted that AIPAC is connected to "leaders and express bigotry and oppose basic Palestinian rights." Everything that I've read about AIPAC says otherwise. They strive to share a balanced and authentic view of Israel. This is a subject that I've lived and breathed for nearly fifty years. It appears that Sanders is either getting bad information, or he truly doesn't understand the impossible situation that Israel is in. It's possible to care about the Palestinian people and to want to make sure that Israel is safe and secure. That's what Sanders would have us think is his position. However, if he truly held those views, he'd know that AIPAC doesn't discount the suffering of the Palestinian people. However, AIPAC's mission and reason to be is to support Israel's right to exist and to educate congress in relation to that right and the challenges that Israel faces on a daily basis.
The U.N. voted in 1948 for a two state solution for Israel and Palestine. The surrounding Arab countries chose to denounce this and declared war on Israel. The Palestinian problem started then and there. Palestinians have been used for political purposes ever since. The unfortunate part of this is that the people themselves aren't at fault. I even understand why those who live under these impossible circumstances would feel the weight of oppression. There has truly not been any reasonable solution to this situation. Bernie Sanders should understand all of this, but he doesn't seem to want to take the time to learn the facts. This is no different than his avoidance of the facts when it comes to Medicare for All.
Bernie Sanders has never been a team player. He has not passed much legislatively that he has actually sponsored. Somehow, this isn't surprising. He is divisive. He is intolerant of others. He is actually a bully in his own right. That's not who we need for the next president.
Sanders tweeted that AIPAC is connected to "leaders and express bigotry and oppose basic Palestinian rights." Everything that I've read about AIPAC says otherwise. They strive to share a balanced and authentic view of Israel. This is a subject that I've lived and breathed for nearly fifty years. It appears that Sanders is either getting bad information, or he truly doesn't understand the impossible situation that Israel is in. It's possible to care about the Palestinian people and to want to make sure that Israel is safe and secure. That's what Sanders would have us think is his position. However, if he truly held those views, he'd know that AIPAC doesn't discount the suffering of the Palestinian people. However, AIPAC's mission and reason to be is to support Israel's right to exist and to educate congress in relation to that right and the challenges that Israel faces on a daily basis.
The U.N. voted in 1948 for a two state solution for Israel and Palestine. The surrounding Arab countries chose to denounce this and declared war on Israel. The Palestinian problem started then and there. Palestinians have been used for political purposes ever since. The unfortunate part of this is that the people themselves aren't at fault. I even understand why those who live under these impossible circumstances would feel the weight of oppression. There has truly not been any reasonable solution to this situation. Bernie Sanders should understand all of this, but he doesn't seem to want to take the time to learn the facts. This is no different than his avoidance of the facts when it comes to Medicare for All.
Bernie Sanders has never been a team player. He has not passed much legislatively that he has actually sponsored. Somehow, this isn't surprising. He is divisive. He is intolerant of others. He is actually a bully in his own right. That's not who we need for the next president.
Sunday, February 23, 2020
The Dangers of Plagiarism
I saw something on Twitter this morning that could end up in the news pretty soon. It appears that Pete Buttigieg tweeted (and said in a speech) something similar to what President Obama said in one of his speeches ("If we can light up a high school gym--we can light a neighborhood...If we can light up a neighborhood--we can light a city..." compared to Obama saying "One voice can change a room, and if...can change a city...). I think there is clearly enough similarity to call the possibility of plagiarism into question. It would have been fine if he put quotes around the words and credited President Obama. In fact, that would have been more than fine, it would have highlighted his support and respect for President Obama.
Taking an Obama quote and sending it out as if it's his own, however, could be a whole other story. Just ask Joe Biden. Plagiarism can quickly derail a campaign, and now is not a good time to get derailed, right before Super Tuesday. If he doesn't get ahead of this before it percolates up to the national news (which should occur within 24-48 hours), this could prove to be the end of his campaign. Maybe that's well enough anyway. He's had a great run, but it's not looking likely that he can garner enough support to jump up to second. Unfortunately, whoever is in second after Super Tuesday will take the lead a the alternative to Bernie Sanders. I say unfortunately because, it could be Joe Biden. The former front runner can not be looked at as the alternative as he rapidly declines from his previous perch. Biden should have dropped out already, but instead, his ego has kept him going. That ego will ultimately lead to Bernie Sanders being the nominee, with one possible exception. That exception continues to be Mike Bloomberg.
If Buttigieg has a sudden drop, and Biden's drop continues, Bloomberg can bubble up into second place on Super Tuesday. If he's a clear second, the Democratic party will have a clear choice. Will the others clear out and make room for whoever becomes the clear second choice? If they let their egos win out, the answer is no. Andrew Yang is right, the others need to do the math and follow his lead. If that happens, there will be an opportunity to really see what happens over the course of the rest of the primary season. All of this is informing my vote in the upcoming California primary. I'll wait until after this weeks debate to make up my mind, and see what's happened as it relates to Buttigieg's use of President Obama's quote.
Taking an Obama quote and sending it out as if it's his own, however, could be a whole other story. Just ask Joe Biden. Plagiarism can quickly derail a campaign, and now is not a good time to get derailed, right before Super Tuesday. If he doesn't get ahead of this before it percolates up to the national news (which should occur within 24-48 hours), this could prove to be the end of his campaign. Maybe that's well enough anyway. He's had a great run, but it's not looking likely that he can garner enough support to jump up to second. Unfortunately, whoever is in second after Super Tuesday will take the lead a the alternative to Bernie Sanders. I say unfortunately because, it could be Joe Biden. The former front runner can not be looked at as the alternative as he rapidly declines from his previous perch. Biden should have dropped out already, but instead, his ego has kept him going. That ego will ultimately lead to Bernie Sanders being the nominee, with one possible exception. That exception continues to be Mike Bloomberg.
If Buttigieg has a sudden drop, and Biden's drop continues, Bloomberg can bubble up into second place on Super Tuesday. If he's a clear second, the Democratic party will have a clear choice. Will the others clear out and make room for whoever becomes the clear second choice? If they let their egos win out, the answer is no. Andrew Yang is right, the others need to do the math and follow his lead. If that happens, there will be an opportunity to really see what happens over the course of the rest of the primary season. All of this is informing my vote in the upcoming California primary. I'll wait until after this weeks debate to make up my mind, and see what's happened as it relates to Buttigieg's use of President Obama's quote.
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