What's Next

It's 2021, and the last 10 1/2 months of my life has been one long, stressful blur.  I've had more purpose during that time than I've had in a lifetime, but it's time to take stock and think about the future.  Purpose is good, but does it have to be all day, everyday?  And, aren't there different types of purpose.  Just 15 months ago, I thought that I'd done something very purposeful, when I completed the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii.  The entire week that I spent in Kona leading up to the race had an impact on me.  I had spent the greater part of twenty years preparing for that one day and that one opportunity.  

I did realize that one day and one moment wasn't what mattered. It was every day leading up to that day and moment that really makes a difference.  It's about being in the moment, something I've written about many times, and something that I seem to forget about when the stress level gets too high.  Ironman St. George in 2012 was a great example of that.  Coming so close to being in a deadly situation put me in a contemplative mode for months to come, but gradually, that feeling went away.  It's a meditative feeling that I've also written about many times.  Getting back that meditative feeling is something else that I am well aware of needing to have.  It's definitely part of what's next.

Our futures are not really in our hands. They never have been and they never will be.  Circumstances are constantly changing, and we can neither predict nor account for them.  Earthquakes, pandemics, other life events, are often not under our control.  Life is definitely an Ironman.  I wanted to feel great on the day of the Ironman World Championship, but that wasn't to be.  Nevertheless, I sucked it up and mentally put myself where I needed to be in order to complete a grueling, purposeful and meaningful day. I guess that's what matters the most when it comes to looking at what's next.

Thinking about myself has been difficult for the past 10 1/2 months.  It's not who I am in my heart. I am always drawn to thinking about others. But, I have others who I love and care for very much who are close to me.  Those are the people that I can focus on.  That's where I can place my heart and my soul in the coming days, weeks and months.  And, there's me.  It's ok to think about myself.  Ten and a half months ago, I was contemplating my next Ironman. I had gotten the itch to do another Ironman.  That was a good feeling, that was clearly something for me.  

A couple of months ago, I'd begun writing about each decade of my life.  I believe that I only covered the first three.  Maybe it's time to cover the rest in the coming days?