Being at Peace

I was terribly unsettled yesterday.  I couldn't put my finger on it.  I was definitely not "at peace."  When I was in Kona I felt a "peace" that I have rarely felt.  There was no goal, other than to truly be in the moment.  There's an irony to the need for purpose as it relates to "being in the moment." In its own way, that is also a purpose.  There are so many positive things in the world to be in the moment for.  Children get this. Adults forget. Ironically, in many ways, I was never a child. I was always striving for something. Always striving to "do something." In many ways, Kona was a high point for me.  Yes, it was an accomplishment, but that wasn't the feeling that I had.  I felt like I was able to "rest" on the things that mattered. 

We are not defined by "things." We are not defined by accomplishments. We are defined by who we are and what's inside of us.  I've always been a very goal oriented person, but those goals are not who I am.  We know that there is value in purpose, but purpose doesn't have to be existential.  It doesn't have to be concrete.  It doesn't have to be an act or a "thing." Being "in the moment" is actually a very purposeful act.  The fourteen and a half hours that I spent on the course at the Ironman World Championship over a year ago had meaning beyond numbers.  It was about the experience.  When the numbers and the accomplishments become the priority, there can be no peace.  

Over the course of the last 8 1/2 months, my life has not been my own in many ways.  Every day has been shaped by forces beyond my control, but in fact, that has been my choice.  Everything that we do in life is a choice, whether we choose to accept it or not.  Being at peace is a choice.  Why haven't I been willing to make that choice? 

The choice begins with the rising of the sun. It begins with the purposefulness of the day.  It is not about a single act.  It isn't about a particular accomplishment.  It is the day. That is peace.