It's funny how the mind quickly adjusts. Just believing the concept that I can spend most of my time doing what I feel like doing has already had a positive impact on me. There's just a little more peace. I realized last night that I didn't officially meditate yesterday, but my 90 minute run was definitely filled with meditative time. It just wasn't captured on Headspace. It still truly is about balance. I'm sure that there will still be days where that balance is hard to find. That's because perfection is never a goal. Accepting each moment is what we really strive for. It's the Ironman metaphor I've long described. There is no Ironman where everything goes perfectly as planned. My recent Ironman was the extreme example, being cancelled on race morning as I arrived at Transition. That certainly didn't go as planned, but I was actually relieved, having identified the risks as far exceeding the benefits of racing during a "Bomb Cyclone." So, while I didn't do what I'd originally planned to do, I actually did what I wanted to do. At the moment.
This brings me back to something I've definitely written about before. Being in the moment is the key, and recognizing that helps with a balanced approach to doing what I want to do. My routine may turn out to be anything but a routine, or it will be. I am, after all, a creature of habit. I can eat the same thing day after do. I can do the same things day after day. I do appreciate the structured feel of that, but don't have to feel hemmed in by it. I still have choice. I can still always be in the moment.
I was planning to do a 100 mile bike ride on Saturday, but I've already recognized that I'd rather run. This week is truly my run week. Three 9 1/2 mile days already logged, today will either be the same, or it will be longer. I will certainly have some days where I break up my run into to segments, and I will have days when I run shorter, and days when I run longer. I feel like running ~70 miles in a week is well within my body's capabilities right now. It also feels like what I want to do.
The week began with my addressing my work-a-holic tendencies. I've already made progress. However, I can't be fooled. Challenges will pop up and try to pull me in. Letting go of the desire and need to not say no. Letting go of the need to please others. That will continue to be my daily challenge, my minute-by-minute challenge. Focusing on what I want is my refrain, my reminder. And so I put one foot in front of the other and continue my journey.
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