First Day of the Rest of my Life

I started this blog on September 17^th, while recovering from Covid-19 while traveling in Europe.

 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It truly is time. My focus needs to be on taking care of myself. It’s time. I’ve been writing blogs for nearly 15 years, give or take. I’ve written about life, about work, about triathlon and training. I’ve written about what matters, about who I am, about what drives me. Fifteen years ago, I crashed my bike during the Long Course Triathlon World Championships in Perth, Australia. I remember taking that as a sign to slow down. For a brief period of time, I did slow down. But then I sped up again. I know that this pattern has repeated itself on several occasions. I can’t seem to get out of my own way. In many ways, the situation has actually gotten worse over time. I remember the things I wanted to focus on when I retired for the first time. 

 

In fact, I remember waking up the morning after I sold my practice nearly 14 years ago. I realized that I hadn’t dreamed that night. I’m someone who processes in my sleep, and when I’m consumed with work, I dream about it. That night, a huge weight was lifted off me and I didn’t dream. I woke up that day with the thought that “I didn’t want to fight anymore.” For many years, and possibly most of my life, I feel like I’ve been fighting. Whether as a young person writing a letter to President Johnson to end the war, fighting with my father to win arguments, fighting for the success of my businesses, or lately, fighting with people on social media over world events and politics. I really don’t want to fight anymore.

 

There were things that I found enjoyable at the time. There were things that I wanted to do for myself. On one hand, I was able to pursue my triathlon and Ironman dreams. Beyond that, however, I’ve struggled with the concept of doing enjoyable things for myself. There seem to be fewer things that bring me personal joy. I’m pulled into the rabbit hole of trying to make a difference for others instead. I know it’s the wrong path, yet I seem to have fewer and fewer options. Maybe that’s the point. 

 

So much of my life has been about trying to “accomplish” something. Most of that has been with the purpose of helping others. My “drive” has always been the key factor in most things that I do.  Acting on my impulses has been the determining factor. The irony is that I act “in the moment,” although I have trouble appreciating being in the moment. But I do know what those moments are. Perhaps it’s the adrenaline that has caused me to forget them.  

 

I’m realizing that the things that used to bring me joy are still out there. I just need to embrace them again. One step at a time. One thing at a time. I know that I can still do things for myself and appreciate those things. I don’t have to spend every waking hour trying to make a difference for others. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always seem to be doing. It’s more difficult when one is successful. It’s time to let go. Today is truly the first day of the rest of my life. 

Recalibrating after Covid

It took me four and a half years, but I finally got Covid. I didn't even realize it at first, waking up on a Tuesday morning in a hotel room in Trier, Germany and feeling like my mouth was dry.  I got up, walked over to the table near the window, remember preparing to pour a glass of water but starting to feel very nauseous.  The next thing I knew I was coming to, laying on the floor of the hotel room under the table.  I wasn't fully conscious of what happened and I got up again. The next time that I came to my wife was yelling my name.  She kept me from standing up immediately and tended to my head wound. I'd hit my head at some point when I passed out (not sure if it was the first or second time). I was drenched in sweat, to the point that the floor was slick.  Finally, I got back to bed and began hydrating, as best I could.  I was still feeling both nauseous and very woozy.  While there's still a lot more to this story, I didn't test myself for COVID-19 until a day or two later, when it hit me that I might be having unusual symptoms.  Of course, by then, my wife had symptoms of both nausea and excessive mucus production. It was COVID-19.  Of note, the morning before I passed out I ran 2 miles to pick up our rental car.  My heart rate was a little higher than normal, but otherwise, no major signs.

Here I am, ten days after passing out from COVID-19. I intuitively know that my recovery will need to be slow and cautious.  No high heart rate work. In fact, I went for a walk today for about a mile and a half and found myself walking briskly, and my heart rate had come up to 110. Nope!  I slowed down and got my heart rate back down to 90.  Not only do I need to keep my heart rate below 100 for the next few weeks, but when I start running again, I'm thinking of recalibrating to a heart rate under 120.  If I have to walk, then I have to walk.  Knowing how my body responds, this process could take a few months and patience will be paramount.  In many ways, my recalibration is once again reminding me of some blogs I wrote fifteen years ago, after I crashed my bike in Perth.  I felt like my life had been going too fast and my shoulder and hip fractures necessitated my slowing down. Hmmm.  Might be the same story once again. 

As a reminder of our own human frailties, I found out yesterday that a triathlete friend whom I'd gotten to know over the past decade, and who was near my age, died recently.  She was a fiery personality, prone to dropping an "F-bomb" with regularity. She was also someone who said exactly what she thought, when she thought it. I always looked forward to running into her at the pool and sharing training stories!  As I'd moved a year ago, it was unlikely that I'd run into her again, but I will miss her and miss knowing that she is no longer spicing up the pool lane! It's also a reminder to me that our time is short.  And so I find myself writing today. What do I write about? Training.  I guess that should tell me something.

Going on 65, and my 5K Goal

I only blogged once in 2023 and blogged on the first day of 2024. In the past when I've written a blog, I let my dad know. He was my inspiration to blog, having kept a journal daily for over forty years. He passed away on March 11th.  I know that he'll still be reading my blogs:)

In four days, I turn 65. The last several years have seen multiple ups and downs in my training. There's been a constant reminder of the impact of life stress on training and fitness. In some ways, I probably reached a pinnacle of sorts in 2014, but did manage to raise my fitness prior to completing a life's goal at Kona in 2019, at the age of 60.  Everything since has been a blur, as my life as a geriatrician took precedence during the pandemic, with a very short interval leading up to the Ironman World Championships in St. George over two years ago.  

The single greatest lesson from IM St. George was the toll that Ironman takes on the body.  Combined with other life stressors, I feel like I'm only now coming out of the aftermath of that race.  I literally haven't biked since, and have only swum intermittently.  While I'm sure that there are still triathlons in my future, if there's one thing I've learned over the years is that it's still about the run!  Since my triathlon career from here on will be shorter distances, it strikes me as the time to focus on my shorter distance run speed.  

There is a historical context worth reviewing (which I'm sure that I've done before). My very first 5K was in 1992, at the age of 33.  I believe my time was ~23 1/2 minutes.  At the age of 46, I ran a 21:08 in Colorado before achieving a lifetime best of 19:30 at sea level two days after turning 49.  Ironman training soon took over and not only wasn't I training for 5K speed, I didn't run many 5Ks.  In 2012, after moving to Southern California, I did a 5K in 21:06 shortly before turning 53.  At 54 I ran 21:47; at 57 I ran 22:38; at 60 I ran 23:35; the day before turning 64 I ran 23:32. Since I moved to New Zealand in November, I've run twenty-two 5Ks! Some I've run hard, some I've run easy.  Since the move, at the age of 64, my fastest 5K has been 24:00, on a hilly course. Overall, it looks like my 5K speed has been relatively stable this past year.   

Since I'm a goal oriented person, I'm once again setting some 5K goals for the coming year. Next weekend, will be yet another local ParkRun 5K, on the same hilly course where I ran 24:00 four months ago.  The first question is how fast I can get with the proper training.  The second question is whether I can be consistent in my training so as to maximize my potential.  In discussing this with my coach of 19 years (yes, 19 years!), the training plan became clear.  Two workouts every week of speed:  one of those workouts will be faster than 5K pace with intervals of 30 seconds to 2 minutes; the second workout will be Tempo w/ 6 x 5 minutes or 20 minutes non-stop.  The rest of my running during the week will be to accumulate volume, to include at least one long run, most likely between 9 and 12 miles.  I can't let the volume hurt the quality of the speed work, and I can't let the speed work negatively impact the volume.  

Last weekend, I ran a 5K at a very hard effort, with mile splits of 7:36, 8:08 and 8:33 finishing strong at 7:45 pace for a final time of 25:03. That's my starting point going forward on this course. I definitely went out too hard, and absolutely died during the third mile.

Three days ago, I did Hill Speedwork with 4 x 40" up a hill that is steep for 1/3, then flatter for the last 2/3, averaging 7 minute pace for each interval.  This workout is gold, and I look forward to increasing the number of intervals. It will help with both my speed and my strength, which at 65 is essential.

Two days ago, I ran 8 miles comfortably on a hilly course with an average pace of 10:06 and average heart rate of 146.

Today, I warmed up with 4 miles at MAF effort and 9:56 pace, average HR of 128. After a short rest, ran a 5K at Tempo effort, in what actually felt like a relatively "comfortable" Tempo effort (which ironically felt easier than the last mile of last week's 5K).  Ran these miles in 8:29, 8:20 and 8:11, finishing at 7:36 pace and a time of 25:55 with average heart rate of 151.  The last two miles were Tempo effort, with my heart rate totally in my Tempo Zone.  To finish up, after only recovering for a few minutes, I ran two more miles, at 10:42 pace with an average heart rate of 135.  Perfectly done!

Next Saturday will be my weekly 5K. Will I run another Tempo run? Will I go hard to see where I am for the upcoming year? I'll probably let my coach decide:), but since I ran hard a week ago, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to do another hard 5K.  I should give myself the requisite 6-7 weeks of training to see how much I've progressed before another "test" race.

There's no question that we get slower as we get older. However, from week to week, month to month, and even year to year, it doesn't have to be that way!  Let's see what I can do over the upcoming year. It's my own experiment of what the human body can do at the age of 65.  I will admit, I have a relatively limited amount of time to improve my 5K times compared to what I've done over the past decade. I haven't broken 23 minutes since the age of 57.  I'm not sure if it's possible, but I know that I can get back to the 23:32 I ran just before I turned 64.

Going on 65, and my 5K Goal