A New Journey

It's been 8 days since Ironman St. George and I've gone through different emotions than after the first two ironman races that I did.  The first two times, as I completed the run, all I could think of was "why would anyone do this to themselves?"  This time, all of I could think of was "wow, I'm finishing this sucker!"  While I really don't want to do an ironman this challenging again, I really enjoy the training for ironman.  And, it might be fun to do an "easy" ironman!  For the most part of the last week I've been walking around with a sense of calmness.  While it can be disturbed by the intrusions of real life, I've tended to pop back into my "zen-like" state pretty easily.

Life is about change, and boy have we experienced lots of change.  The last three years has easily been the most tumultuous of our lives.  Starting with producing a television pilot, breaking my collarbone and hip, going through the process of selling my business, daughter getting married, moving away, starting up another new business, and now moving.  Oh, and in the midst of this, I did three of the hardest ironman races in history.  Granted, in some ways, the ironman training has been an oasis for me.  Generally, a healthy one, with a caveat.  I am an obsessive person.  I have to keep track of every workout, noting my pace and power, every detail.  I could blame this on the fact that I want to give my coach data, but the truth really is, I just tend to obsess over these things.

It hit me on Saturday.  I don't want to be "focusing" on a specific goal right now.  In fact, my specific goal is spending time with my wife and family.  For the past 30 years my wife has devoted herself to our kids and to allowing me to do what's important in my life.  Work, work, work, triathlon, work.  It's time that I devote myself to helping assure that she does what's important in her life.  Spending 20 or more hours a week training for a bicycle race just doesn't fit into that.  It doesn't feel right.  In fact, "having" to do any workout doesn't feel right.

So, I spoke to my coach yesterday.  My new training "schedule" is to do what I feel like, when I feel like it.  I will write about how I feel on a daily basis, and continue to try to learn about myself.  Life and training are all part of the same continuum.  It will be fun to just head out the door for a run or a bike.  It will be fun to jump in the pool and just swim.  No paces, no timeframes.  It will be fun to continue to be in the moment with my life, no expectations, just enjoy the moment.  A new journey.