A good friend of mine reminded me of an adage that I have on my bathroom wall. Don't worry about things you have no control over. It's a great adage to live by, and one I put on my bathroom wall after reading about it stated by a 100 year old who said it was an important part of getting to 100. Last night, I had more dreams, at least they weren't of the shark variety. I realized, however, that they were about my mind trying to cleanse itself. At least my brain knew what was needed. I've also been meditating in order to cleanse the mind. In today's crazy world, this is an ongoing struggle.
Last year, I had a single minded focus of Ironman training. In a lot of ways, that single mindedness actually went a long way towards keeping my mind relatively clean from worry and other negative thoughts. I typically went to bed every night thinking about the next days workout. One of my favorite tools for falling asleep was to visualize myself doing an upcoming Ironman. I usually fell asleep before I even got on the bike!
The mind is an amazing organism. I continue to try to understand it, and even to try to gain some control over it. In some ways, I really shouldn't bother. It feels like my mind might know how to take care of itself!
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Monday, January 6, 2020
Dreaming of Sharks
I awoke with a start the morning at 4am, and realized that I'd been having a nightmare. I often remember my dreams when I first wake up, and if I write or talk about them right away, I can still remember the details. I told my wife about the dream, which left me quite agitated, so much that I couldn't fall back to sleep for awhile. I ended up reading for a out an hour to try to get the dream out of my head. Still, I realized that I might want to think about what the dream was about. First of all, it was about a shark. Literally, a shark. I dreamt that I was wrestling with a shark. It was thrashing about, and I was holding on to it, literally holding on as if I was riding the shark as it was thrashing. Think bucking bronco, but instead, a shark. I'm sure that we were in the water, I don't know if we were under water, but I know that I didn't feel like I couldn't breath. What really stuck with me when I woke up was that I'd been wrestling the shark.
A google search quickly suggests that shark dreams are about anger and hostility, or if they are about a person, then that person is greedy and unscrupulous. I wonder if I've encountered anyone like that in my life? Hmmm. It really doesn't take me very long to think about this, or to recognize the underlying cause of my nightmare. I'm surprised that I had the dream, because usually I don't dream about things if I've actually addressed them. I thought that I'd addressed these issues, but maybe my dream was a sign that I really haven't. At least I know that the turmoil surrounding these issues is still laying under the surface and that's important.
I have for some time struggled with anxiety. There are days that I feel anxious, and it seems to come out of nowhere. Maybe it really isn't coming out of nowhere. If my dream is any indication of what is laying beneath my conscious surface, then I really shouldn't be surprised when I suddenly find myself anxious. There's a reason. That just means I need to focus on dealing with these feelings. They're probably not going away anytime soon. There's still too much real life stuff to play out for these feelings to fade into the background. I guess I'll have to live with that. But, that's life. We have to live with the things that come at us on a daily basis. We really don't have a choice. There are always going to be sharks in our lives. We can swim away from them. We can wrestle with them. I suppose we can be eaten by them (though I really hope to avoid that scenario).
I've started the year with a focus on daily meditation. The first week has focused on balance. While I don't think that there is a meditation for dealing with sharks, there are meditation foci on anger. It could be a starting place for addressing this, as sharks definitely bring out that emotion. I'm sure there are other emotions that are invoked as we deal with human sharks. One thing I do know. Anger isn't a healthy emotion to have living under the surface. So, if I am dealing with the anger brought on by a shark, then I might as well work on addressing the anger. It's a beginning. We'll see what it does to my shark dreams.
A google search quickly suggests that shark dreams are about anger and hostility, or if they are about a person, then that person is greedy and unscrupulous. I wonder if I've encountered anyone like that in my life? Hmmm. It really doesn't take me very long to think about this, or to recognize the underlying cause of my nightmare. I'm surprised that I had the dream, because usually I don't dream about things if I've actually addressed them. I thought that I'd addressed these issues, but maybe my dream was a sign that I really haven't. At least I know that the turmoil surrounding these issues is still laying under the surface and that's important.
I have for some time struggled with anxiety. There are days that I feel anxious, and it seems to come out of nowhere. Maybe it really isn't coming out of nowhere. If my dream is any indication of what is laying beneath my conscious surface, then I really shouldn't be surprised when I suddenly find myself anxious. There's a reason. That just means I need to focus on dealing with these feelings. They're probably not going away anytime soon. There's still too much real life stuff to play out for these feelings to fade into the background. I guess I'll have to live with that. But, that's life. We have to live with the things that come at us on a daily basis. We really don't have a choice. There are always going to be sharks in our lives. We can swim away from them. We can wrestle with them. I suppose we can be eaten by them (though I really hope to avoid that scenario).
I've started the year with a focus on daily meditation. The first week has focused on balance. While I don't think that there is a meditation for dealing with sharks, there are meditation foci on anger. It could be a starting place for addressing this, as sharks definitely bring out that emotion. I'm sure there are other emotions that are invoked as we deal with human sharks. One thing I do know. Anger isn't a healthy emotion to have living under the surface. So, if I am dealing with the anger brought on by a shark, then I might as well work on addressing the anger. It's a beginning. We'll see what it does to my shark dreams.
Sunday, January 5, 2020
My 20:20 Journey: Hill Repeats and Heavy Breathing
Yesterday I did 200 and 400m efforts. Today, I did just four all out 150m efforts up an incline. These efforts lasted about 40 seconds and kicked my butt. When I finished the fourth one, I found myself breathing hard for over 10 minutes. Two hours later my breathing was still a little heavy. It's amazing what going all out will do to your metabolism. My new journey has me doing a lot of these short hard efforts.
Modulating one's efforts during short sprints takes some effort. I probably went a little easy on the first one today, and then got the next two just right, pushing as hard as I could for the entire 36-37 seconds. The last one was interesting, because after about 120m, I felt like the switch turned off in terms of how my legs felt, but I ignored that and pushed as hard as I could, actually doing this fourth effort slightly faster than the first three. Of course, I couldn't stop breathing hard for several minutes. The first three efforts were followed by about 2 minutes of walking. There's no way that I could have done a fifth repeat with the way I was feeling after the fourth one. But that's ok, this was my first attempt at doing these hill repeats. I'm always (at least these days) cautious when it comes to how I handle the first attempts at new workouts.
The challenge of doing these short hard efforts is making sure that I recover enough in between these workouts to make the next one as productive as possible. While I'll probably be tempted to follow up today's workout with another one tomorrow, I doubt that I'll truly be fresh enough to actually do that. Still, the temptation will be there. I know myself pretty well.
My coach knows that I love these hard efforts. There's nothing like literally being unable to breath a the end of an interval. Combining that with the feeling that y our legs don't want to move, just adds to the enjoyment! In a lot of ways, this is preparation for the feeling that I strive to have at the end of a 5K. I often say that the way to finish a 5K is with the feeling that you want to throw up. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. It comes with the territory. Normally, I'm used to feeling something similar at the end of a half ironman or ironman, but that's a different feeling. It's got it's similarities, but it's associated with dead legs that aren't moving all that fast. Ideally, at the end of a 5K, my legs will still be moving pretty fast, but I'll feel pretty much like I did at the end of my fourth interval today. Ironically, my pace was about 6:20/mile, albeit, I was climbing about a 3% grade, and I already had some lactic acid buildup. So, my training continues, on my way to 20:20.
Modulating one's efforts during short sprints takes some effort. I probably went a little easy on the first one today, and then got the next two just right, pushing as hard as I could for the entire 36-37 seconds. The last one was interesting, because after about 120m, I felt like the switch turned off in terms of how my legs felt, but I ignored that and pushed as hard as I could, actually doing this fourth effort slightly faster than the first three. Of course, I couldn't stop breathing hard for several minutes. The first three efforts were followed by about 2 minutes of walking. There's no way that I could have done a fifth repeat with the way I was feeling after the fourth one. But that's ok, this was my first attempt at doing these hill repeats. I'm always (at least these days) cautious when it comes to how I handle the first attempts at new workouts.
The challenge of doing these short hard efforts is making sure that I recover enough in between these workouts to make the next one as productive as possible. While I'll probably be tempted to follow up today's workout with another one tomorrow, I doubt that I'll truly be fresh enough to actually do that. Still, the temptation will be there. I know myself pretty well.
My coach knows that I love these hard efforts. There's nothing like literally being unable to breath a the end of an interval. Combining that with the feeling that y our legs don't want to move, just adds to the enjoyment! In a lot of ways, this is preparation for the feeling that I strive to have at the end of a 5K. I often say that the way to finish a 5K is with the feeling that you want to throw up. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. It comes with the territory. Normally, I'm used to feeling something similar at the end of a half ironman or ironman, but that's a different feeling. It's got it's similarities, but it's associated with dead legs that aren't moving all that fast. Ideally, at the end of a 5K, my legs will still be moving pretty fast, but I'll feel pretty much like I did at the end of my fourth interval today. Ironically, my pace was about 6:20/mile, albeit, I was climbing about a 3% grade, and I already had some lactic acid buildup. So, my training continues, on my way to 20:20.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
My 20:20 Journey Begins
A few days ago, I wrote about my journey this year to achieve a goal for a 5K race of 20:20. I began my journey with my first 200-200-400 set, but the sections that I picked were a little odd, insofar as they had some portions with downward inclines. I marked off some sections the other day that also had a slight decline, but that's somewhat by choice. I want to retrain my legs to run fast, a 1% downward grade isn't that significant, but certainly doesn't hurt my desire to train my legs to run faster. Today, after a patient warm up, taking extra time and attention to my right high hamstring (which has still been a little tight and even somewhat sore back and forth), I did a short warm up jog and got to the section of road for my first set.
Today I did two sets of (200-200-400) with the 200m sections being run at about 5:20/mile pace. The 400's were run right around 5:40 pace. If I look at various run calculators, These paces for these intervals put me on target for my goal. Numbers don't lie, but the body still has to perform. This is my second round of this workout, and I was able to complete two sets today. That's already progress. Clearly, the goal will be to do multiple sets. In the spirit of getting close to 5K volume, I would anticipate getting up to 6 sets. I might have tried a third set today, but felt like my paces would possibly have dropped off, and so I finished still feeling relatively fresh, which is the idea.
The good news is that my first full attempt at this workout actually had me hitting paces that would ultimately put me at running a 5K in under twenty minutes. I'm not going to get too excited about this, however. What matters is that I've got a starting point, and it's something that I can build on.
The other key to my training is to do it rested. While I was training for Ironman, it was almost a badge of honor to do workouts while fatigued. As I train for a 5K, it will be the opposite. I'll want to be doing my workouts well rested so as to maximize their value. I feel like I've gotten off to a good start on my 20:20 journey. We'll see what's next.
Today I did two sets of (200-200-400) with the 200m sections being run at about 5:20/mile pace. The 400's were run right around 5:40 pace. If I look at various run calculators, These paces for these intervals put me on target for my goal. Numbers don't lie, but the body still has to perform. This is my second round of this workout, and I was able to complete two sets today. That's already progress. Clearly, the goal will be to do multiple sets. In the spirit of getting close to 5K volume, I would anticipate getting up to 6 sets. I might have tried a third set today, but felt like my paces would possibly have dropped off, and so I finished still feeling relatively fresh, which is the idea.
The good news is that my first full attempt at this workout actually had me hitting paces that would ultimately put me at running a 5K in under twenty minutes. I'm not going to get too excited about this, however. What matters is that I've got a starting point, and it's something that I can build on.
The other key to my training is to do it rested. While I was training for Ironman, it was almost a badge of honor to do workouts while fatigued. As I train for a 5K, it will be the opposite. I'll want to be doing my workouts well rested so as to maximize their value. I feel like I've gotten off to a good start on my 20:20 journey. We'll see what's next.
Friday, January 3, 2020
Who Really Cares?
I read a good article today about the lack of Geriatricians in this country. Good, from the perspective that at least it shone a light on the issue. Unfortunately, the author chose to write a relatively positive piece, pointing out the projects that are in the works to try to impact the delivery of care to older adults. In that, she missed the point, and the opportunity to truly shine a light on what is wrong with the state of affairs of Geriatrics in our country. This is a reporter that I truly respect, so I emailed her, offering to share my insights. I guess I was too late. She said that since she just wrote about the subject, that she won't be coming back to it in the near future, possibly for years. It got me to thinking who really cares?
I've spent my entire career advocating for older adults. I've put that advocacy above my family and honestly, myself, on many occasions. Why? Because it matters to me. Because I care. The question is, is that enough? Or, other the other hand, is it too much? Here's a respected journalist whose response to my offering to add insight is that she'd done with the topic. What are her motives? In fact, what are anyone's motives? I often have to remind myself, most people are looking out for themselves. I don't really expect people to do otherwise. When I left my last job, I didn't try to bring anyone with me. I didn't try to persuade others to leave. I recognized that they had families, they had responsibilities. I was fortunate insofar as I was able to leave. I was fine in doing so. On the other hand, I've made similar decisions throughout my life without regard to their impact. I've usually followed my gut, and often have done what I felt was right, regardless of the consequences. It's who I am. Anyone who really knows me, knows that's what the get from me. The truth, whether they like it or not.
Which brings me back to my question. Who really cares? I've tried to get op-ed's published on some topics that I feel strongly about. I haven't had any luck. I certainly share my thoughts on social media, and I have to admit that I do have some people that follow me who will share what I'm saying. Does it make a difference? I guess only time will tell. That's part of the challenge. You can only try. The results will come, or they won't. I guess that's the point, and I'm sure that I've written about this before. What really matters is that I care. There's really no one else that I should be concerned about. Even if I were the only person in the world that cared about the care of older adults, which I'm not, I would still try to change things.
I shared with a colleague today that I know that I don't know everything, and that my opinions are always right. I love nothing more than to brainstorm and have people question my beliefs. It forces me to develop stronger ones. Sometimes, I change my mind. Sometimes, I'm even more emboldened than when I started. Because I care.
I've spent my entire career advocating for older adults. I've put that advocacy above my family and honestly, myself, on many occasions. Why? Because it matters to me. Because I care. The question is, is that enough? Or, other the other hand, is it too much? Here's a respected journalist whose response to my offering to add insight is that she'd done with the topic. What are her motives? In fact, what are anyone's motives? I often have to remind myself, most people are looking out for themselves. I don't really expect people to do otherwise. When I left my last job, I didn't try to bring anyone with me. I didn't try to persuade others to leave. I recognized that they had families, they had responsibilities. I was fortunate insofar as I was able to leave. I was fine in doing so. On the other hand, I've made similar decisions throughout my life without regard to their impact. I've usually followed my gut, and often have done what I felt was right, regardless of the consequences. It's who I am. Anyone who really knows me, knows that's what the get from me. The truth, whether they like it or not.
Which brings me back to my question. Who really cares? I've tried to get op-ed's published on some topics that I feel strongly about. I haven't had any luck. I certainly share my thoughts on social media, and I have to admit that I do have some people that follow me who will share what I'm saying. Does it make a difference? I guess only time will tell. That's part of the challenge. You can only try. The results will come, or they won't. I guess that's the point, and I'm sure that I've written about this before. What really matters is that I care. There's really no one else that I should be concerned about. Even if I were the only person in the world that cared about the care of older adults, which I'm not, I would still try to change things.
I shared with a colleague today that I know that I don't know everything, and that my opinions are always right. I love nothing more than to brainstorm and have people question my beliefs. It forces me to develop stronger ones. Sometimes, I change my mind. Sometimes, I'm even more emboldened than when I started. Because I care.
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Reflections on an Industry
I spent most of last year reflecting on the post acute and long term care industry. In many ways, the conclusions that I ultimately came to are relevant to most health care businesses. Today, I actually spent a fair amount of time contemplating these reflections, some of it with others, and some of it on my own. The one thing I really want to focus on is that it's easy to throw stones and complain. It's much harder to come up with effective solutions to problems. You really should never do one without the other. From a leadership and management perspective, that's always a credo that I've lived by. I'm ready to apply it to my 2019 reflections and the experiences that I've had over the last thirty years.
I've identified the reality that the long term cafe industry is essentially a real estate play. I've written an op-ed, but have had no luck getting it published, yet. I've shared my insight during some presentations and am looking at other ways to share this knowledge in a pragmatic way. How does one change an entire industry? How does one change the ageism that is endemic in our society? Taking on an entire industry and trying to change society's mores is not an easy mission to take on.
Where do I start? Today, I reached out to identify opportunities to present my views to a relatively large audience. I've laid out the key elements of a presentation that defines the problems and then identifies solutions to those problems. Which brings me back to where I started. Complaining doesn't solve problems, effective solutions solve problems. My year of reflection has come to its completion. It's time to figure out how to message what I've learned.
I've identified the reality that the long term cafe industry is essentially a real estate play. I've written an op-ed, but have had no luck getting it published, yet. I've shared my insight during some presentations and am looking at other ways to share this knowledge in a pragmatic way. How does one change an entire industry? How does one change the ageism that is endemic in our society? Taking on an entire industry and trying to change society's mores is not an easy mission to take on.
Where do I start? Today, I reached out to identify opportunities to present my views to a relatively large audience. I've laid out the key elements of a presentation that defines the problems and then identifies solutions to those problems. Which brings me back to where I started. Complaining doesn't solve problems, effective solutions solve problems. My year of reflection has come to its completion. It's time to figure out how to message what I've learned.
20:20, a 5K Journey for the New Year!
So, while I'd love to make running a 5K in under 20 minutes my ultimate goal, I decided that, in honor of the New Year, I'd just focus on 20:20. Here are some numbers that align with this goal (from a Jack Daniel's VDOT calculator): 200's=45" (full recovery), 48" (Intervals), 52" (threshold); 400's=90" (full recovery), 96" (Intervals), 104" (threshold). I could go on from here with 800's, 1km, and one mile times. Suffice it to say, the 1 mile time with full recovery is 6:01. I haven't been there in awhile, but I believe it's possible. There is no question in my mind based on today's (January 1st, 2020) workout that the 200 and 400 times are possible. In fact, I believe that's essentially where I am. Which means that I need to build durability in relation to carrying out multiple repeats of these times.
Why 20:20? First, it's symbolic. Second, the numbers that seem to go into getting there make sense. Third, why put up a goal that I've only achieved once before in my life (sub-20 minutes)? I'd rather get to the 20:20 goal first, and then work on getting below twenty minutes. Have I set a goal that's too high? Maybe, but that's my modus operandi anyway. Furthermore, I believe in data and the data would suggest that this is a reasonable goal.
My coach gave me some workout ideas, including a set of 200-200-400 that can be repeated. I did my first set today, and actually hit the numbers that I've listed above. Tweaked my hip a little, so will be careful before doing this again, but expect that will be possible soon. The other workout is to expand my 100m uphill sprint intervals to 150m's, which will take me between 30 and 40 seconds. From a metabolic pathway perspective, this should push the right buttons, all the while also working on building strength.
I have my goal for the year, and my new journey. 20:20:)
Why 20:20? First, it's symbolic. Second, the numbers that seem to go into getting there make sense. Third, why put up a goal that I've only achieved once before in my life (sub-20 minutes)? I'd rather get to the 20:20 goal first, and then work on getting below twenty minutes. Have I set a goal that's too high? Maybe, but that's my modus operandi anyway. Furthermore, I believe in data and the data would suggest that this is a reasonable goal.
My coach gave me some workout ideas, including a set of 200-200-400 that can be repeated. I did my first set today, and actually hit the numbers that I've listed above. Tweaked my hip a little, so will be careful before doing this again, but expect that will be possible soon. The other workout is to expand my 100m uphill sprint intervals to 150m's, which will take me between 30 and 40 seconds. From a metabolic pathway perspective, this should push the right buttons, all the while also working on building strength.
I have my goal for the year, and my new journey. 20:20:)
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